The toddler games.
There are things that anyone heading into parenting should know. The traps and pitfalls. I mean, this toddler stuff is big business. There are books, help forums and parents groups, friends, family and the internet. Each filled with helpful well-meaning suggestions.
What we really need is a book “10 Ways to outwit, outplay, outlast your toddler till bedtime. Parent survivor.” Now don’t get me wrong the Wild Boy is the most loving, funny, clever and cherished guy. I dig his free spirited nature but at three years old, pretty much everyday he’s out witting & out playing us in ways I hadn’t even imagined.
I recently saw a shirt with the slogan – Silence isn’t golden, It’s Suspicious. So true.
For one thing - Sleep, I have learned, is for the weak! This guy has slept through a grand total of 16 times in three years – and, believe me I’m counting! Most of those nights have been in the last week. Bliss! On the flipside he is dropping his daytime nap. Boy am I going to miss it!
When I was pregnant with the Wild Boy, I assumed that I would have this parenting thing in the bag! Easy peasy. I was wrong! And just so you know, this isn’t my first rodeo. The Wild Boy is number four. Yup 4 kids. Two girls 21 & 19 years old and two boys 19 & 3. I’ll give you a minute to figure it out…. That’s right. CP is the eldest. The most easy going first child who lulled me into a false sense of security. She happily slept 12 hours a night and took naps until she was 4. Then the twins GP & Wes also good sleepers and eaters. Three children under 2 years. Now, I could be remembering those days with rose coloured glasses or maybe I was just too busy. However, I also remember not one of these guys was a runner or a climber or a screamer in grocery stores. I took the three of them to Europe – a 32 hour flight, on my own for goodness sake!
So maybe this is smug parent Karma (I’m finding a new appreciation daily) but this boy is my Challenge baby. This guy is the child who draws on the walls quietly, in permanent marker while you hang the washing out. Who puts whole toilet rolls (worth more than gold) and dads new electric shaver into the toilet bowl. I can confidently tell you it was a bit of a shock to see that looking up at me from the bowl. This child can run the 100m in under 10, especially in a supermarket or fishermans co-op. In essence, yes, I have one of THOSE kids.
Remember the tractor tyres from the previous blog? Well the nice guy who comes to the farm to fix the tyres had to take them away to get fitted. So of course he left the wheel nuts, tempting little suckers- in a small pile next to where he was working. Upon returning to reattach the tyres, can you guess what was missing? That’s right, The wheel nuts. We all looked at each other, then at the Wild Boy. He told us quite happily that they were in the muddy puddle. So three grown ups in rubber gloves, gum boots and armed with rakes searched the muddy puddle, to no avail. Not one of us can figure out how he got them or where they went but believe me we searched high and low.
And to top it off today we had a visit from Poo-caso. Ain’t potty training fun? To be fair, he had pulled the potty into the lounge room…clean as a whistle! The wall on the other hand, oh boy. It was like miniature cave art complete with perfect little hand prints. To be honest I didn’t know poop could go so far. And it’s the worlds second worst thing to have to clean up! If you’ve ever had this happen you will know what I mean and if not, I pray you never do.
So for now we are all bathed, disinfected and squeaky clean. Everything smells like lemon, soap and chorine to some degree and my little Wild one is snuggled on my lap, patting my elbow and telling me he promises, nomiss, thomas not to do it ever again. While I enjoy the cuddles and quietly reassess my tactics for tomorrows Parent survivor assault. Wish me luck!
Happy parenting, hug them lots!
Have a great week!
Love Mel xx
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